INSECURITY AND LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

The feeling of insecurity and lack of self-confidence is a natural and common human experience caused by fear and an underlying belief that one is not good enough. When insecurity becomes intense and is a habitual response to circumstances and interactions, it detracts from the sufferer’s quality of life, affecting vitality, happiness and wellbeing. Out of timidity and self-doubt, the person holds back from expressing his or her full potential. A typical response to being asked to perform or speak in front of an audience is to worry about embarrassing oneself in front of others. Feeling chronically uneasy and shy around other people, one responds by turning down invitations to social gatherings, especially with unfamiliar people or larger groups of people.

This lack of self-confidence originates in underlying psychological tensions and mental patterns, such as in-secure attachments as a child and lack of support and encouragement by the parents. In uncomfortable situations, the mind goes blank, there is increased production of adrenaline, muscles become tense, heartbeat and breathing become more rapid, and there is sweating of the palms. This feeling can be distressing to the person experiencing it and further increase the loss of confidence.

Signs and symptoms of insecurity

• Doubts in one’s own abilities

• Stage-fright

• Avoidance of uncomfortable situations

• Social isolation or withdrawal

• Loss of mental control under stress

• Short and shallow breath, sweating of palms

• Feelings of fear, shame, embarrassment or aloneness.

Sadhana for managing insecurity

A raja yoga sadhana can help you to manage and reduce in-security by releasing stored tensions and debilitating mental patterns, and building up self-confidence and positivity. The first sadhana described below gives tools to reduce insecurity and free you from the hold of fear and stage-fright over time. It helps develop self-awareness and a stronger connection to positive mental states, including inner peace and security.

The second sadhana helps manage insecurity when it arises. Maintaining the ability to observe what is happening in your mind when the insecurity takes over may be difficult at first. With time, application and patience, you will experience a change and realize that inner security, optimism and a positive outlook do not depend on external conditions.

RAJA YOGA SADHANA 1

TO REGULATE INSECURITY

General

Develop a positive sankalpa, resolve, to build up self-confidence and inner security; repeat this sankalpa before commencing the morning mantra sadhana and during yoga nidra. For example:

• I have faith in myself.

• I grow in confidence day by day.

• I am strong.

• I am peaceful and secure.

Develop the qualities of courage and self-confidence as antidotes to insecurity; connect also with the raja yoga niyama of Ishwara pranidhana or cultivation of faith. Faith in a higher will implies acceptance that things happen as they should, and that there is no need to worry. This frees you to express positivity and confidence. Track your progress daily as part of the Review of the Day.

Morning, before breakfast

·         After daily asana and pranayama, practice Om chanting or mantra japa with chidakasha and psychic symbol awareness.

During daily activities

• Any time feelings of insecurity arise, mental repetition of Om or your guru mantra will help disconnect with the external environment and create a peaceful space within. Japa should be practiced regularly throughout the day, so that it becomes a habit that is easily within reach when feelings of vulnerability take over.

• Work with pratipaksha bhavana; when negative and vulnerable states of mind arise, connect to their opposite states of courage and inner security.

After the day’s activities

• Yoga nidra, complete practice, 25 to 30 minutes daily, to relax and release tensions at all levels, with a positive sankalpa to overcome insecurity and build up self-confidence and inner security.

Evening, before bed

• Review of the Day and Spiritual Diary; assess how insecurity manifested during the day and monitor changes in intensity, as well as your reaction or response; include the question ‘To what extent did I apply the yogic tools for managing insecurity when the need arose?’ Note how often you were able to evoke feelings of courage and self-confidence.

• Trataka, gazing at a candle flame.

• Antar mouna, inner silence, stages 2 to 3, to calm the mind and emotions, and to examine the origins of the anxiety, 10 to 15 minutes.

RAJA YOGA SADHANA 2

TOOLS TO USE DURING ACUTE INSECURITY

• Remember your guru mantra or the mantra Om and practice japa, repeating the mantra mentally.

• While continuing to repeat your mantra, observe the effects of insecurity on your body: breath, heart rate, mental and emotional state. Your awareness will reduce the power of insecurity.

• Practice abdominal breath awareness, inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply. Continue until you feel calmer and the insecurity subsides.

• Positive visualization, such as the most beautiful scene ever seen.

Lifestyle adjustments

• Establish regularity in your daily routine: fixed times for getting up, sadhana, going to bed, meal times.

• Take a healthy, natural diet.

• Develop hobbies which you do with others such as team sport, singing in a choir or any other group activity.

Complementary practices from hatha bhakti yoga hatha yoga

• Asana: focus on holding the asanas for a period of time and on lengthening the exhalation: shavasana, pawanmuktasana part 3 (selection), marjari asana, shashankasana (static), held 2 to 3 minutes, makarasana, garudasana, baddha hasta utthanasana, shavasana

• Pranayama: natural breath awareness, abdominal breathing (1:1 ratio) to develop during the day also, full yogic breathing (1:1:1 ratio), nadi shodhana pranayama (1:2 ratio) to promote relaxation, bhramari pranayama

• Bandha: moola bandha.

Bhakti yoga

• Likhit japa to focus your mind and connect to calm and peace

• Kirtan to connect with inner joy and confidence, to overcome shyness and to feel support from the group

• Satsang to give you inspiration and encouragement

• Creating a space for pooja, worship, a place where you can be at ease and secure

• Tree pooja to connect to and imbibe the positive qualities of nature.

If you want to overcome fear, mentally deny that you have fear and concentrate your attention upon the opposite quality, the ideal of courage. When this is developed, fear vanishes by itself. The positive always overcomes the negative. This is an infallible law of nature.

Swami Sivananda Saraswati

The whole world, plants, animals, insects or human beings, is controlled by the inexorable laws of nature. In the overall scheme of this great plan, you are only the instrument, the channel, the agent or the actor; you are not the karta, the doer. There is a great nature, prakriti, that is fulfilling the requirements necessary for the universal drama. When you do not realize this truth, you are agitated by insignificant happenings, and insecurity arises.

In worldly life, most people suffer from insecurity. So in order to establish themselves, they have the frame of family, religion, nationality, caste, group, culture or society. They believe in all of these and secure themselves with a house, industries and economic status.

You should follow the path of spiritual life and let nature take its own course. Worry and anxiety are not necessary. However, if you are suffering from insecurity, doubt and suspicion you should practice mantra. You should also develop internal and external faith – a smile within and a smile without.

Swami Satyananda Saraswati

You go through many layers of mental experiences, trying to overcome the negative expressions of the personality, the conflicting thoughts, the feelings of insecurity, loss, connecting with the source of inner strength, developing a relaxed state, developing a focused state of mind.

Just as you identify with the world and attach yourself, there is also an internal identification with the inner self. Just as you feel threatened and insecure when something external is shaking your connection, there is also insecurity when something happens internally and it changes your life, your mind and your attitude.

When you become natural, when there is no imposed projection of an image, when you are able to guide and control the energies in motion within you, you are able to cultivate the positive, optimistic and qualitative from of life. Confidence is knowledge, understanding and awareness of your strengths and ability to deal with a situation. When you know you are the master of the circumstance or event and can control it, and you have the wisdom to know what is right and wrong and act according to dharma, that is confidence.

Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati